So when I was reading my blog entry about my "Diana", I thought I could write a entry like that for other friends as well. And when I shared with my "Diana" what I had written, she was so touched that I would write about her that I thought..I don't think we communicate the "heart" stuff real well... or at least I don't communicate the heart stuff real well.
So I will write a series (a short one considering just how many really close friends can one have) on what some of my friendships have meant to me. In thinking about this series, it has been really interesting to really see the uniqueness of each friendship and their role in my life, and how so often it reflects the stage of life.
So today, I am talking about a friend I met about 5 years ago. We attended the same church and for the first little while, I never really connected with her. We attended the same bible study and eventually they held it at their home and somehow, over time, we started connecting. Our church had a winter thing at a farm and I invited her to go with her children. She came and I think we spent every Saturday together...and lots of other days as well... for 2 years. The friendship began based on having someone for our children to play with, and became of course something deeper...
She was then, and still is, the person I could tell my deepest darkest secret to. She is completely trustworthy; I won't feel any judgement, any condemnation; She isn't going to hold it over me, remind me often, "rub it in".
Somehow our friendship became that really....I think (I hope) I was that person for her as well. We shared lots of fun times, lots of "darker" times, lots of family birthday parties, births, drama!!!!
We were/are very different in personalities, opinions, lifestyles, but somehow it worked. She inspired me in so many areas and continues to do so.
So she moved....not far, but you know how it is with kids, and working full time and life.... that "not far" mids' well be 2000 miles away. And while I rarely see her, rarely talk to her, am truly not involved with her life at all.... well, there are times I long for her. Sound a little weird-maybe so, but that is the only word I have for it. There are times I just need to tell someone that one not great thought that keeps running through my head, that one fear I have for my child, that one marriage issue that just lurks.....
My life is full; her life is really full. I think I cannot be the friend I need to be, the friend she needs me to be with the distance and our lifestyle (being working all week and spending weekends at an arena somewhere!), so I exit, I keep in touch through the computer, through this blog thing. And while I get it in my brain-I get all the logical factors-the heart I think just misses her.
PS: check her out in blog land. She really is doing some neat living....