So I have this friend... well, even friend sounds too casual, too insignificant. She is someone I have only known for maybe 2 years, but really-a lifetime. We joke that we share the same brain and are in fact only 1 person. It is a joke, but so real at the same time. I have seriously never had a friend like her...and I don't mean that in a negative way against any of my current friendships or even friendships past-they are all dear to me for lots of reasons, but somehow she is different.
You see I don't always like who I am (and trust me, there are lots of reasons for that-and a post for another day), but I like who I am with her. I never feel judged, never feel "not enough", never feel like I should be better, be something, someone different. She is totally accepting, and believe me, she has seen some not so pretty parts of my personality-the mean side, the petty side, the jealous side, the perfectionist, the controlling nature-yeah, she has seen it all!!! and somehow I am okay with that, and thankfully so is she.
She perhaps is the most thoughtful person I have ever been around...and not just towards me, towards everyone. She has the ability to remember the smallest detail of something you said, bring it up again to you in conversation, remember to ask about it, tell you she is thinking of you, empathize, buy something for you because you mentioned one time in passing it was your favorite childhood candy-she really is that person. A little too good to be true right??? I kid you not.
So really I should not have been surprised. I should have expected what I found on my desk today when I came into work. She has that habit-finding the neatest things in who knows where that I would never think of getting myself, but they are perfect-exactly something I didn't even know I wanted or loved!!! But today, well, it takes the cake, and not just because it was amazing, so unbelievably generous, so so something I desperately wanted, but because she knew my longing and upset wasn't even really about the THING, it was deeper......
Yes, you are looking at the blush tint-you know the one. I don't think I need to re-tell that incident-thank goodness because I am truly just getting over it... You see it really wasn't about the blush or the money wasted, or the mess in my room or on my bag. It was my bitterness really that I felt I had NOTHING of my own-NOTHING SACRED. My room is occupied most nights by my children, my house is a nice mixture of toys and children's books, scattered with actual furniture, my free time is spent entirely with them, I share my tea in the morning, my juice at supper..... well, I think you get the picture... and while I may not have said all of that to her, I think she got it. I think she knows me well enough to know my true sadness-well anger really-was deeper and I think she wanted to make it better.......and oh, she did....
So you see, she is my Diana-kindred spirit (even if she really doesn't even like Anne of Green Gables!!!)
Me
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