Thursday, July 22, 2010
I am feeling God nudge.....I am somewhat scared of what He is asking me....My not listening isn't my not hearing, it is my disobedience.
A rainbow, a sign of hope and faithfulness and trust-first shown to Noah after the flood....after he listened to God's nudge, and was faithful. That faithfulness was not without consequence. He was isolated from his peers, he was teased and critized. I am sure there was some conflicts in his relationships with his family-I can imagine his wife thinking he may have gone just a little crazy. and yet, HE OBEYED.
Decisions are being made in this home, plans are being written down, commitments are being finalized. Not sure if I am ready to build the arc quiet yet, but I have the building plan and materials.
I believe God nudges, because he is oh so gracious and patient with us. He whispers gently, he leads softly....until you ignore Him, you reject Him, you disobey Him....and then He doesn't nudge, He pushes. He uses a 2x4 and He gets you to get it...to get Him.
The last time I needed the 2x4, Seamus was 15 months old, in a hospital bed, hooked up to goodness knows what, and I was sitting in a rocking chair, worried, terrified actually, and the specialist told my husband that if we were 5 minutes later, he would've died, and I continued to rock and rock and weep at my choices, weep at the times I felt God nudge and didn't listen, and I held my baby, careful of the tubes, and I offered him up as my sacrifice, my Isaac, and was thankful that God provided a ram-so thankful.
I live in the awareness of those moments, so when the nudging comes, I halt....
I'm not saying God caused my child to be sick to teach me a lesson. I am not saying that God makes horrible things happen to get back at us for being willful and rebellious. I do however people that the One who controls everything, the entire creation, has the right to use anything, to allow anything, to show us HIM.
The last time it was my beloved child, my richest blessing, my most cherished. What will God use this time if I continue in disobedience? What will it take to get my attention? What will be required for sacrifice?
I am feeling God nudge.........