Thursday, November 11, 2010

Would the real me stand up?

Could there be two people existing in the same body... I don't mean in a "mentally unwell manner", just in the everyday-who am I way.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and we were talking about how people can be one way at work, yet someone almost completely different outside of work...

of course we were talking about someone in particular and it was easy to find example after example of how this person is "so different" at home and all the ways in which their personality just isn't the same at work.. and "isn't that a shame, " and "so terrible to have to try so hard to be something your are not, " and "how sad to be so different-where is the personal integrity."

When all of a sudden, I realized hey, is that me sometimes. Am I someone different in all the different settings of my life. Am I one person at work, one person at home, one person at church, one person out with one group of friends, someone else with another, one person online, one person "real world?"

I would like to think the core of me is there; that I do have some set version of me, my values, my personality, but for certain, I can change myself according to my surroundings. I guess that's why I am desperately seeking....

My friend said she was surprised the name of my blog-desperately seeking.... she said I am someone who knows myself... yeah... not so much!

I know my values, I know my beliefs, but how to live them out, how to really be me in my skin-I haven't figured that out at all.

There's nothing like a shake-up in your life to really get your mind working/questioning/reanalyzing.. I think sometimes that's the point.


  1. Sometimes it's easier to be who we really are when we're in the "safety" of certain settings, like online. I also think that we often are who we are expected to be in certain instances, i.e. work, or rather who we think we are expected to be. Who's to say that we aren't many different "people", isn't that what makes us interesting? I also think that different circumstances, environments help feed and nurture different parts of ourselves, that we're still "us" just that one part of us is coming out more than "other" parts, kwim?


  2. Yeah, I get that for sure. I think there are parts of me that are evident in certain settings that really "suit" that setting, but wouldn't really work somewhere else, or with a different group. I guess as well it depends on how comfortable you are with either the people or the place you are in... I like to think that through it all, the core of me is the same, just looks a little different. For sure, when you are in a stage like us in which you are somewhat forced to think of everything and really slow down and really analyze how content are we, are we who we want to be or are we on auto-pilot, well.. makes me wonder if I should be striving to be more authentic in every setting.

    Thanks for all your comments on here. It has been great getting your thoughts on some of my crazy posts. Most times people email, but I must say, I like this better- I check it more often...

  3. It was great running into you this morning. Hope you enjoyed your treat! I totally agree about taking a step back to consider where we are in life and how we're living. Is it what/where we want to be? Or as you put it so well are we on auto-pilot?

    I think at times we are who we are expected to be because it's easier. It doesn't mean we're any less authentic, it just means that we have read the situation and decided that it isn't appropriate or perhaps worth opening the can of worms that being authentic might cause. That being said, if you can't be authentic in life then is life worth living? I'm slowly learning to be authentic even if it makes people uncomfortable. That being said I still use my judgement to determine how authentic to be. I also have to guard my heart from those who might squash it. It's all a balancing act that can tip at any time.

    Does any of that even make sense?!


  4. I think you should rename your blog How to Realize I'm Perfect the way I am ;)

    I think you DO know who you are. I know I certainly love you for who you are...every part. Even the parts that don't think you are good enough, or whatnot.
    You are you and it is fab.

    We all show different sides or parts of who we are to different people. Depending on how we relate to them, the need to know, the safety ect. I think some people ARE different or try really really hard to be someone they are not. I don't think that is you though. I think you just choose what parts of you to share ;)
    love you

  5. Just right now, I had a realization that I do think the core of me is the same in all settings. Certainly how that is presented is different for lots of reasons-many that Val mentioned... I think Alyson you are right.. I do know who I am..I am just not sure I like it, and you are right-we just have to accept who we are, change what we feel convicted to change and grow... I think this may be a time of conviction for me more than anything when I am feeling that truly, I am not being true to myself in many settings and perhaps the discontent that has lingered for months is less about not knowing who I am and more about trying to keep up a facade or trying to be something I am not..

    I have received a ton of emails about this post as well-must be something people are dealing with.