Wednesday, March 10, 2010

It doesn't go away....

I am an avoider-I avoid things that are uncomfortable, scary, sad, upsetting in any way.....I also avoid the phone and voicemail-but that is for another post.

I was told by my dentist about a year ago that I have a cavity. You should know that perhaps my biggest-and I mean BIGGEST-fear is going to the dentist. I struggle even going with Seamus; the noises, the sounds-well, everything!!

Back to my cavity-I did not make an appointment to have a filling... and when it started to ache a little, I still did not call. I am not sure what I was thinking. I mean, a cavity doesn't go away! My fear-phobia actually-had convinced me that somehow avoiding this would change it-I was SO wrong.

Imagine at the Lonestar (local fun place to eat), enjoying a taco salad with the kids, loving the moment when all seems to be right-even the 2 year old isn't running around the place-when all of a sudden, your biggest fear becomes real-MY TOOTH BROKE!!!

I don't think you need all the details of what that entailed for me..I will say there was some crying, some yelling at myself in the mirror, emergency dental appointments...... It led to the appointment I had yesterday in which the nice dental specialist explained to me with pictures (like I needed those) about the route canal that I would need to "save the tooth" and the subsequent appointments I would need to "maintain the integrity of the tooth". I won't even tell you the financial costs to this-unbelievable!!!! I can see why individuals without insurance or financial means do not take care of their teeth!

All of this to say that I need to be done with this avoiding strategy, which isn't really working for me.

So today, I need to book an appointment for a physical (I have not had one since before Mahone was born-oops), I need to start going back to the gym to help with the blood pressure that is mounting (half stress, half weight that I am carrying), I need to call that friend whom I haven't spoken to in forever that is now just awkward since it has been so long, I need to call the student loan people again, I need to write that thank you note, I need to have a hard conversation with a co-worker......

Wow-I have been avoiding my whole life away....



  1. if it is a call to me than it can never be awkward...doesn not matter how long. ;)
    because you will ALWAYS be my friend no matter what.

  2. Alyson: thank you.... joys celebrated, burden's shared, secrets told.... some friendships transcend the need for daily check-ins..although there are times I miss you like crazy.. truly no one I feel that I could share the messiest part of my life with..